Global Women's Voices: Share Personal Stories

Lin, Taiwan

Submitted by:

Every couple in this world hopes to have a blessed marriage. If the marriage failed, we didn’t know whether divorce would bring us to happiness or misery. I, as a common woman, can take only one option and try to face my life bravely.

Married seven years with one son and one daughter, my husband and I run a flower shop to earn a living. We often quarreled about the business and our children’s education issues. He always used bitter or dirty words shouting at me. If I said something not pleasing him, he would give me hard time at night. As a result, he would instruct me to sit on the chair and scored me for hours after our shop closed. I feared to reply, for he would use his finger pointing my forehead no matter I said yes or no. It was so painful that I would think of suicide.

He threatened me not to speak one word to my parents, otherwise he would bit me harshly. Wanting not to worry my parents, I buried all the anguish deeply inside of my heart. By controlling my social life, cutting my phones, he tried to cover the truth.

Whenever I made mistakes at work, he shouted, splashed water at me, and stroke my checks. He abused me both physically and mentally in front of my children which made them crying all the time.

For whom does a woman live? For me, the answer is my children for sure. In order to be with my children, I kept on bearing the tortures and domestic violence for many years. Since my children grew older, I finally made my mind to leave my husband. I couldn’t endure such a sick condition any more. I knew it was not healthy at all for the character development of my children. My husband would call my son “beast”, “betrayed one” or even hit his head and checks when he lost temper. My son would cry loudly when he was little. From then on, he has become solid, bearing scores and humiliation from his father silently. Because he knew the punishment would be even harder if he dare to cry. So, my son hid his tears and fear well under.

My daughter was born as a retarded child. She was taking psych therapy and language training in the past two years. She made tremendous progress so far, and could utter her tongue to call me “Mom”. I was very happy for her improvement. My husband never provided any assistance during these difficult years. On the contrary, he was mad at her as same as at me. “Crazy! you two!” he yelled at us, which really made us cold and sad from the bottom.

After going through all these sufferings, I decided to bring my children away and leave him forever. I lived in a shelter which is under the law of protecting women against violence. I gained a great support from other women with the same experiences. I was so grateful to the social workers of the Garden of Hope Foundation for they helped my children and me all the way in the shelter. They comforted us while we were low, gave us confidence, taught us how to cherish ourselves.

I believe my children and I will have a better future. With patience, confidence, and the support from the people who love me, I will press on toward the goal for a new home full of hope, happiness and safety.(written in April, 2003)

Story provided by the Garden of Hope Foundation
http://www.goh.org.tw
email:goh@ms1.hinet.net

updated: 7/2/2004